If I Miss, I'm Gay
If I Miss, I'm Gay refers to a trend on TikTok where users throw something at a basket or target and intentionally miss under the caption "If I miss, I'm gay," often followed by them doing something perceivably gay. The word "gay" is sometimes replaced with another word, like "slay" or "chill" depending on the context of the joke. The trend was popularized on TikTok in September 2023 and gained significant virality when Madonna participated in it that October, seemingly revealing that she was a member of the LGBTQ+ community to many TikTokers for the first time despite her fans already knowing she was bisexual for years.
If I Miss This Though I'm Gay As Hell
Around April 1st, 2023, a video went viral on TikTok where a man says in a slurring voice that if he misses a dart throw, he's gay. He then misses the dart throw. The original video has been deleted from TikTok, but was reuploaded to YouTube that day, garnering over 100,000 views in a year (shown below, left). The original sound became notably popular on TikTok that year in videos where users miss at throwing something at a target (compilation shown below, right).
If I Miss, I'm Gay Trend
On September 19th, 2023, TikToker @live_laugh_luis posted a video captioned, "If I miss, I'm gay." In the video, he throws a ball of paper at a trash can but misses. He then nods and walks away from the camera in a way that's stereotypical of how a gay man might dramatically walk, garnering over 8 million views in a month (shown below).
The trend became popular throughout September and early October 2023. In some videos, the word "gay" is replaced with "slay." For example, on September 21st, TikToker Bryce Hall posted a video doing the trend, garnering over 12 million views in two weeks (shown below, left). On October 7th, TikToker @twistedpennywise posted a video doing the trend, garnering over 4.5 million views in four days (shown below, right).
Madonna's "If I Miss, I'm Gay" Video
On October 10th, 2023, pop artist Madonna posted a video to TikTok participating in the trend. In the video, she throws a pink pair of underwear at a trash can and misses, then flourishes her hand, garnering over 25.8 million views in a day (shown below).
Despite Madonna openly discussing (but never officially labeling) her bisexuality since the early 90s, many TikTokers who viewed the TikTok thought Madonna's post was a coming-out video. Some of the top comments at the time of writing read, "Her PR team is freaking out rn," "Did Madonna just come out? And I’m witnessing it in real time??" and "Coming out at 64?" Other top comments share that Madonna has been believed to be bisexual for years (examples shown below). The story was reported on by numerous media outlets on October 11th, including People, CNN and CTV News.